Feeling very anxious today - going to the Devils game tonight. I haven’t been able to go since he’s been gone. It doesn’t feel right to go without him. I know it’s me - it’s in my head and in my heart. It was his favorite thing to do. Now it just brings back so many memories. Again, going because Payton and Pete want me to go. I’ve said “no” too many times in the past 10 months. I go upstairs to take a shower and get ready and turn on the TV. Disney’s Cars is on. One of Parker’s absolute favorite movies ever. I can’t even remember how many times we have watched it together. It made him so happy. I haven’t thought about this movie in such a long time. Maybe it’s a sign from him letting me know that it’s ok to go. That he wants me to go. That it will make him happy. So I’m going to go.