Today was a hard day. I’m not even sure why but such is grief. I was home with my dogs, like every day, catching up on laundry and some shows. I watched “When They See Us” about the Central Park Five from 1989. I was 14 at that time, same as most of the boys involved. I most definitely did not follow the story at that time, or any other time until now. Their story made me so angry, made me cry, made me so frustrated. What those boys went through is unimaginable - and the whole time their mothers were right there by their sides, never losing hope, never losing faith and never lost their love for their sons. The sacrifices that those women endured to support their families is the epitome of the word “mother”. A mother’s love knows no bounds and she will do whatever it takes to keep her child safe and loved. I see so many moms take advantage of motherhood. Dumping their children whenever they can for selfish reasons. Being too busy to spend quality time with them or not wanting to spend time with them. When I see this I scream inside. I cry and I want. They have what I want so desperately and take it for granted. They only want them when it’s convenient for them. I wanted Parker. I needed him. And I lost him.
Love your children. It was not their choice to be brought into this world. It’s our responsibility as mothers to make sure they are a priority. They need you and you need them. Please imagine if it has been 931 days since you’ve last seen him. It could happen and it did.
I love you forever, Bud.
