Loss is defined as “the fact or process of losing something or someone”. Loss is also defined by specific terms of loss. When you lose a spouse, you are a widow, when you lose your parents you are an orphan. What is the term for losing a child? I’ve been told there is none - it is the biggest loss an individual can suffer. I need a term, a name, a phrase. I need it so that my loss can be explained in one word. A word that takes the place of all of those conversations. All of the explanations that tear out my heart each time. It is socially mandatory at this point in my life. I am not sure how all of those millions of parents over the course of time have gone this far with
out it.
I have a long road ahead of me to be telling my story, Parker’s story. I think about all those years into the future and question why. Why he had to go. Why this had to happen. This photo came up today from 2 years ago. It is one of my favorites of him doing what he loved the most. I was supposed to take more of these photos. We were supposed to go to more games and tournaments for years to come. I am eternally grateful that we had the 9 years we did with him. He had a wonderful life filled with people who loved and adored him. He was a happy kid, I know because he was always smiling. He was loved unconditionally by me and will be until the end of time. Mama loves you, Bud. Always.