A year ago today. This was the beginning of the end. Parker’s punch biopsy at CHOP. After seeing our local dermatologist, pediatrician and an ultrasound I didn’t know where else to go. There was no diagnosis and no one knew what the mysterious bump on his head was. I was trying to convince myself that it was scar tissue from his Hockey helmet. Deep down in my soul I knew it was something else. I was under the impression it was some form of alopecia since the dermatologist were leaning towards that. I was so worried that he would lose his hair - his beautiful thick blonde hair. That he would be bald for the rest of his life at age 9. I was so wrong. After the biopsy we would have to wait about a week for the results. Parker felt fine, he was healthy, energetic, there was no way he could be sick.
That day, we were sitting across from each other in the cafeteria at CHOP. He was eating cookies. He looked me straight in the eyes and said “Mom, I’m fine”. I was so worried. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I was obsessed with researching and googling. I ran through every possible scenario in my head. I would never be prepared for what was to come of that biopsy.
Through it all he still had that beautiful smile. That smile I had seen a million times. That smile that I would sell my soul to the devil to see one more time.